Hair/Story

Before I cut my hair off about a month ago, a lot of my friends at law school already knew I was planning to do it. I got asked a lot why I wanted to get a pixie cut. No one asked in a rude way, just with curiosity – like, if my hair looked good at the length it was, why would I want to have short hair? I explained time and time again that I just wanted to.

I felt claustrophobic because my thick, fluffy hair around my face and neck. I missed the freedom of not having to style my hair in some form. I just didn’t feel like myself with my longer hair. I’ve had short hair more often than long in the past five or so years, so it wasn’t a scary decision.

Short hair just seems natural on me. It’s sassy, it’s fearless, it’s low-maintenance, and it’s unapologetic: everything I strive to be.

After I got my hair cut, most reactions were positive. But one guy asked me if my boyfriend supported me cutting my hair off so that guys wouldn’t hit on me as much. I laughed, then I calmly tried to explain that my boyfriend happens to think I have a pretty face, and that it’s easier to see my pretty face when I don’t have so much hair in the way… And that I feel confident that he’s not trying to purposely make me uglier.

This conversation bothered me in the same way that all those articles online from douchey bros, who claim that short-haired women are ruining the fun for men, do - because they all assume one vital falsehood:

That I (and other women) are actively thinking about pleasing men and how all our actions fulfill that goal.

I did not cut my hair for men. I didn’t cut it for my boyfriend, or my father, or my male friends, or the men I pass on the street. I did not keep my hair long for men. I didn’t keep it long for my boyfriend, or my father, or my male friends, or the men I pass on the street.

I grew out my hair because I wanted to. And I cut it off because I really, really wanted to.

If cutting my hair off upsets sexist douchebags and makes me less appealing to random men on the street, that’s actually a plus in my book. It weeds out the kind of guys who will objectify me on first sight, or judge me without getting to know me, or assume that I care about their opinions on the sexual attractiveness of my body.

I wear high-waisted pants because they make me feel fabulous. I have a nose ring because it makes me happy. I have short hair because it makes me feel confident. I wear running leggings as pants sometimes because they’re comfortable and opaque. None of these actions are harmful to other people, and they are deeply and personally satisfying for me.

Women do a lot of things without thinking about the reactions or approval of other people – men and women included.

I want Jake to think I’m beautiful. I want my dad to approve of my choices. I want to make my grandpa proud. But if it comes down to making myself happy and making other people happy, I’m going to go with actions and decisions that make me happy and fulfilled.

Your decision for how to cut and style your hair, what clothes to wear, or how to decorate your body are all personal decisions that only you can make - and these decisions do not make you any less of a woman or deserving of respect.

If you want pink hair down to your waist or no hair at all - have 15 piercings on your face alone or just your ears - two full sleeve tattoos or a butterfly tattoo on your lower back - and those things will fulfill you deep in your soul (or maybe you just really want them), then let your freak flag fly.

No one should be making that decision for you – especially trolls on the internet. If a few less douchetools don’t think you’re sexy for being your most complete, confident, satisfied self, then I’m pretty sure you're the one who lucked out.

xo Madie

Selfie/Story

I've got a confession to make…

I take selfies.

That definitely wasn't someone else who took that picture of my face. That was me. With my iPhone, with that little "reverse camera" feature so I could see what I looked like when I snapped the pic. I probably took at least three pictures before I finally took one I liked. If I'm gonna post my face all over the Internet, I wanna look good.

Women are expected to look beautiful all the time. We're expected to look flawless whether we're at home or work. Sometimes (despite all those Pinterest fitspirations about, "If you look good after your workout, you didn't work hard enough) even after a workout, in that sweaty, sexy, exhausted, maybe even post-coital way. We're supposed to wear makeup, but only enough to enhance our "best" features. We're supposed to have perfect skin, and if we don't, we're supposed to cake on some concealer until it's not as noticeable. It takes us twenty minutes to make our hair perfectly dishevelled so we look gorgeous, but in that, thrown-together-I-really-didn't-try-I-swear kind of way. We work really hard to look effortless.

http://www.thegloss.com/2013/07/05/beauty/social-experiment-confirms-men-like-natural-makeup/

That, in itself, says a lot about unattainable beauty standards. And on top of everyday people, celebrities, and (most of all) companies telling us that we we're not pretty skinny curvy insert physical qualifier here enough, why are we surprised that women have lower self-esteem about their appearance?

According to Psychology Today, women are more concerned about their appearance because people judge us on our appearance, much more than people judge men on appearance. Dove says that only 4% of women worldwide would describe themselves as beautiful. This may have to do with sexual selection, biology, or competition, but it's a real life problem that women experience on a daily basis. We're sold products to cover up or eliminate these "flaws." If we didn't feel so shitty about how we looked, many a company would go out of business.

As we try so hard to look so perfect (quite an uphill battle), heaven forbid women express any sort of pride or confidence about their appearance.

"Oh, you look so beautiful today!" "Psh, no, I look like a troll! You look beautiful!"
"Oooh, I love those pants!" "Awww, really? I got them on sale!" (Notice, no acknolowedgment that your body is attached to those gorgeous pants)
"You look really pretty today!" "Are you kidding me? I just rolled out of bed!"

When should I stop quoting "Mean Girls?" THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.

Women are supposed to be insecure. We're supposed to blow off compliments. If you're open about how beautiful you feel, even if you totally do, you're full of yourself. A bitch. Cocky. Self-involved. Fake. Vain. Maybe even slutty.

Selfies are a touchy subject. People see them as promoting vanity, an impression of empty-headedness, attention-whoring, or self-obsession. And let's be honest: we all know that one person who has a Facebook album exclusively full of pictures of her face at slightly different angles. It does seem a little extreme.

Here's my question: Is it really offensive that a woman might actually feel good about herself and her body?

I'm not advocating we all start making selfie albums on Facebook or anything, but is it possible that maybe that girl posting a picture of her face just... feels pretty? Is it more offensive than a group of friends taking six different pictures of themselves until they take the most flattering one?

Is it so offensive that someone might actually feel good about themselves and feel okay sharing that online? We share new jobs, good grades, relationships, and pretty much everything else online, but sharing a flattering picture - differing from all those other tagged pictures only because you took it yourself - crosses the line?

In a world where 4% of women worldwide would call themselves beautiful, we should be celebrating women who have the confidence to post a picture and say to the Internet, "Hey, I feel beautiful today. Deal with it." We should be encouraging other women to feel beautiful just the way they are (filter or not). We should be building each other up, not tearing each other down. We should encourage ourselves to celebrate our own beauty, whether that comes in the form of a good grade, singing really loud in the car (with the windows down - free those dulcet tones!), or having a good hair day. And hell, take a picture of it if you want to. I bet it looks great.

At least on my Instagram feed, selfies appear all the time with a caption like, "Hey, just feeling pretty today! #nomakeup" The responses to those pictures in particular are really beautiful - 99% of the time, other women are building each other up. They say things like, "Wow, BABE ALERT," "You're always so beautiful," or "Screw makeup, you're so foxy!" Every time I see one, it warms my heart. 

I have an app called "BeauCoo" where women (of all shapes and sizes) can post their outfit pictures. It's meant to be a supportive community where you can see how specific clothing items might fit you, but the comments are always my favorite part. It doesn't matter what size, shape, face type, or skin color - the comments are always positive and uplifting.

When I see examples like that, I just can't throw all selfies in the "self-obsession & vanity" pile. I see a way for women to embrace themselves. I see a way to show the world that we refuse to make self-hate the norm. I see a way to embrace beauty however we'd like to. I see a way to raise that 4%.

How do you feel about selfies? Do you think they have redeeming quality?

xo Madie

Women and Girls

I recently had an odd exchange with a friend of mine. It went a little something like this:

Me: I was so mad in class today because this woman took my seat. I mean, they aren’t assigned but I always sit there. It really threw me off.

Friend: *laughs*…wait, a college…woman or like an…adult woman?

This isn’t the first time I’ve had this response, but it really struck me: what is the difference? Aren’t traditional college-age women adult women? I personally don’t see a difference. College-age women are, by legal standards, adult women. But why my friend had to ask for clarification is because the normal word for a college-age woman isn’t woman—it’s girl.

What’s the problem with calling college-age women girls? We don’t generally call college-age men men; we call them guys. But guys is not the equivalent to girls—boys is. Guys doesn’t have the same connotation as girls. Guys has a sense of autonomy and is generally not age-identified. Girls translates as young, less intelligent, small, helpless, dependent, weak, and silly. People want to hang out with guys; the kids want to play with girls. By calling college-age women girls we characterize them as young, less intelligent, small, helpless, dependent, weak, and silly.

I’ve always thought of my college-self as a woman, not a girl. But I never really thought about when my peers and I transformed into women (I’m not speaking of legal recognition, of course). I always thought the last time I would struggle with where I fit in society age-wise was adolescence. In adolescence, we constantly (supposedly) struggle between the adult part of ourselves and the child part of ourselves. There is conflict inherent in being an adolescent.

But what about college…uhhh…kids? We are out on our own—some of us very far from home, all of us out of our parents’ sight. As 18-23-year-olds, we are legally adults and we are expected to act like adults. And yet, we are still tied to home. Many rely on parents for financial and emotional support, for advice, and even for things like health insurance (especially under the Affordable Care Act). So, we are in a bind. We still grapple with the conflict between child and adult. But still, we are mostly adult. If we commit a crime, we’re an adult. If we go to the doctor, we’re an adult.

So we come to my real question: why is it so hard to call college-age women “women?” Why do we have to remind ourselves that we are, in fact, women? And at what age do we stop being girls and start being women? Who decides that? College-age women are definitely not girls. So, why call them what they aren’t?

I think we’re uncomfortable with the word woman. I think we’re uncomfortable with the meanings around and of woman. I think we’re uncomfortable with women. Violence against women, women in business, women in politics, women in abortion clinics, conservative women, liberal women, women doing whatever they feel like doing because they’re adults who should be given the same rights as any other adult (especially the right to privacy). I think we’re so hesitant to call women women because we want to keep as many women as girls as long as possible because it’s more comfortable. Girls doesn’t have as much potential to challenge the patriarchal system. Girls are weak, silly, and helpless. They aren’t scary, capable women.

If we stop calling college-age women girls we give them a measure of…well, if nothing else, respect. And that’s not a bad place to start. 

Guest blogger Sarah Flinspach is a sophomore at the University of Minnesota where she studies political science and minors in gender, women, and sexuality studies.

A Little Pocket of Hope

Sometimes the world sucks.  That’s just a fact of life.  And sometimes the world sucks so much that you are on the verge of losing all hope that there is anything in it that can give you any kind sense that humanity can do better.  You feel an almost bone-crushing despair at the state of the world and start to think, "What's the point?" when it comes to fighting for what you believe is right.  But then, something happens.  It can be a big something, like the Supreme Court finally hearing cases regarding same-sex marriage in the United States, acknowledging that this isn't something that is just going to go away, but is an issue of equality that cannot and should not be ignored.  Or, it can be something little, like the opening of a pregnancy center in a small town in Iowa that is actually trying to practices what it preaches about pro-life.  It’s the second hopeful something that I want to focus one in this post.  But before I actually begin, I have a confession to make.

I’m pro-life. 






Your reaction is probably:
----------------or------------------->





There, it's out there.  Now, before you jump on my case about feminist (which I do consider myself to be one) ideals and choices, let me actually explain what I mean when I say that I am pro-life.  What being pro-life means to me (and what I think it should mean for anyone who claims to be it) is that I am pro-guaranteeing a quality of life for everyone, which includes at least the basic comfort and needs of survival without question, as well as preserving lives.  Pro-life should not only mean anti-abortion, but should include being anti-death penalty and pro-affordable health care for all, whatever that looks like.  For me (personally) it also means being pro-contraception in order to offer a better quality of life for all people (but that is a whole issue in and of itself that I won’t get into here).  It should (for everyone again) also mean having a respect for all the lives around you, no matter the gender, race, religion, sexuality, or class, and working to bring about a world that isn’t going to ignore people when they cry out for help. 

Sadly for many, it seems being pro-life has been reduced to merely meaning anti-abortion.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not pro-abortion, but I understand it as an unfortunate solution that has developed because of a much deeper problem within society.  That problem is how our society approaches sex and sexuality, and specifically when attaching it to women and women’s health.   Let’s be honest, when a U.S. Senator, an individual who is educated and in the public forum, makes a claim saying women can’t get pregnant through “legitimate rape”, you know something really fucked-up is going on.  That’s about the time society as a whole should look at itself and say, “Hmmm…this is a problem.  We should fix this.  Do we actually know what we are talking about anymore?”  When people say that women get abortions because they just don’t want the baby, period, they are straight up wrong.  Yes, some abortions happen for that reason, but some happen because of rape or health, and a lot more happen because a woman (usually a young one) makes a mistake.  She and her partner didn’t really understand how much complexity there is in having sex, and then she didn’t have the resources or the support to do anything but terminate the pregnancy because society just decided that, “Your mess, you fix it”.  So while I am not necessarily pro-abortion (and I honestly don’t think many of my strong, independent, pro-choice feminist female friends think that abortion, at its root, is a good thing), I am pro-let’s-actually-look-at-these-issues-bringing-women-fully-into-the-conversation-so-we-can-figure-out-what-really-needs-to-happen-in-our-society-so-that-this-doesn’t-need-to-be-an-option-and-oh-yeah-Jesus.

 

Oh no, she brought Jesus into it.  Yeah, I did.  I went there.  You want to know why?  Because this is an issue religious people tend to have a lot to say about.  I get it.  I’m religious, I care about the issue, and I have some stuff to say about it.  What often happens, though, is that Churches, religious organizations, and the people who are apart of them focus their pro-life beliefs only on being anti-abortion.  But the actual problem doesn’t go away when the abortion clinic shuts down.  If you’re going to preach it, you have got to be prepared with something else to offer instead.  That is why when I cracked open my paper from back home the other day (yes, I get my hometown paper…shut up), I was pleasantly surprised to find an article about the Cornerstone for Life Pregnancy Resource Center that has just recently opened.

It’s a small operation so far, but hopes to expand its network of care within the near future.  Currently, the center offers pregnancy tests and counseling, and is forming counseling ministry for those women who have had abortions and seek such an outlet for their feelings towards the decision.  They also hope to partner with an adoption center, which gave me a bit of personal happiness.  There are a lot more things this center hopes to accomplish as it grows, but what it is ultimately offering is a support system.  It is a place for women who are unexpectedly pregnant, and don’t necessarily want to have to go the abortion route, to go and be a part of a community of people they can relate to and receive support from.  While I don’t know every detail about the center, just its existence gives me hope.  It shows that there are people in the world who aren’t just looking for a band-aid solution, but recognize a need for much more intentional involvement in solving the bigger problem.  And they are doing it while maintaining their faith, by not just preaching it but by actually going out and acting on it in a way that could be beneficial to society at large.  I pray that more religious people and Churches who preach the message of pro-life can look to this example of active faith.  That through this relatively small thing our world can get just a little bit better…a little more hopeful.  Does it give you a little more hope?  Let me know what you think. 

Bye for now!
Erin B.          

What’s in a Name?

Recently, a few articles have been written on the topic of women changing or not changing their last names upon marriage. I have long questioned the same system.

When I dated men, I always asked their opinion on the topic, partially because I knew I could never be with someone who expected me to take his name. But the truth is, even with the feminist spirit alive and well in this country, the majority of women still take their husbands’ names.

thenextweb.com

The obvious reason that women take men’s last names makes sense to me: if you want to share a last name with your partner, picking one name is logical. I’m not a big fan of hyphenating names because, as one of the above articles points out, it’s only good for one generation. If someone with a hyphenated name marries another person with a hyphenated name, what do they do?

In my experience, even couples who keep their own names upon marriage still give their children, if they have children, the husband’s last name.

At some point I realized that when a person signs a marriage license, she or he can declare whatever new name she or he chooses. Based on this information, I decided if I ever got married I would legally change my name to Pink Purple Crockpot, as a middle finger to the whole system (and also because it sounds awesome).

So when I began dating women, this line of thinking got more interesting. First, I decided Pink Purple Crockpot just couldn't work for me. Also, I no longer have the privilege of choosing whether or not I want to play into this name changing system. There is no room for two women – there’s no man’s name to take. Making decisions about this tradition became, for me, more than just a fun way to combat patriarchy; it became an actual problem that requires a sensible solution.

Call me a romantic, but I have a real desire to share a last name with my Hypothetical Future Partner.

blog.glamourdrops.com

For me, if my partner or I picked either of our names for both of us to share, the decision would feel symbolic of our relationship. If I took my Hypothetical Future Partner’s name, would it mean she has more power in our relationship? That she wears the pants? That she’s the man? That she won the coin flip? If she took mine, how would I feel about asking her to switch? And, given the hope that my Hypothetical Future Partner and I both have good relationships with our families, how could either of us decide to leave our family names for the others?

It’s interesting being a woman dating a woman, because we've both been socialized into the assumption that our last names would someday change. From a young age, it’s acceptable, even encouraged, for a girl to start doodling Mrs. Name-of-crush-here on her notebook. (And that’s to say nothing of a culture that asks women but not men to name their marital status simply by the title in front of their last names.)

So here I am, in a system that stems from a tradition that has no place for me and my woman loving ways, wondering what I’ll do with my name if I ever get married, knowing that even that simple thing – marriage – is a thing only some people and some states believe I deserve.

Who can blame the lezbos everywhere for keeping their own names, for not buying into any system that has marks of oppression all over it?

But I still want to share a name. I don’t want to make a new name out of nowhere. I don’t want to take and I don’t want to give, I want to share. So my solution is to fit my Hypothetical Future Partner’s name together with mine, just as we’ll attempt to fit our lives together (hypothetically of course). A little give and take. A little of her and a little of me. Compromise.

How does this work in the heterosexual world? Shit, I don’t know. But if people always chose the simple, easier road, we’d be in big trouble.

I understand that professionals that have careers prior to getting married would keep their names. And if you believe that your husband should be the head of your household, then yes, take his name. But otherwise, why not carefully consider the name you’ll (hopefully) be living with for the rest of your life, and be open to doing something nontraditional?

The same questions should be posed about how a proposal works, why only a woman wears an engagement ring, and why a man is told that he can kiss the bride at the end of a wedding (aren't they kissing each other?).

Just because I’m in a situation where I have to devise new strategies with my Hypothetical Future Partner, doesn't mean heterosexuals, particularly those who believe in equality of gender, can't or shouldn't question the systems in which they are included.

If a name is so unimportant, why not give it up for a new one?

Or, as I've argued, if a name is so important that it tells others about who you are – and who you and your partner are together – then why not choose it wisely?

What do you think?

Love,

Kelsey

I am a FEMINIST.

I am a feminist because I believe woman are equal to (not superior to) men.

I am a feminist because I believe sex is what you make it, not something inherently good or bad.

I am a feminist because I am not ashamed of having a vagina.

I am a feminist because I don’t believe “Eve” is proof that women are inferior or should be submissive.

I am a feminist because I believe a woman’s “place” is wherever she wants it to be.

I am a feminist because my uterus can sync up to the moon and to other women’s uteruses, and that’s amazing and magical.

I am a feminist because I don’t want our future daughters to worry about a wage gap.

I am a feminist because I see strong, powerful women like Hillary Clinton and Julia Gillard and I am inspired, not threatened.

I am a feminist because I believe no one in the world can make any decision about a fetus/baby/clump of cells inside of a woman except that woman in that situation, no matter how I feel about abortion.

I am a feminist because I love men, and I think all people deserve a partner in life, not a servant.

I am a feminist because it’s sexy.

I am a feminist because it's not okay when people paint female politicians as "dykes," "man-haters," "emotional," or "hysterical" when they would never talk about male politicians that way. When they ask Hillary Clinton what designers she likes but would never ask a male politician what kind of suit he wears.

I am a feminist because I will not repress or stifle myself to make someone else comfortable.

I am a feminist because liking sex does not make someone a nymphomaniac or a slut.

I am a feminist because I don’t think anyone should need to avoid going out at night because they might get raped.

I am a feminist because I believe your boyfriend or husband shouldn't control what you wear, who you hang out with, or what you believe.

I am a feminist because I've been controlled, and I am never going back.

I am a feminist because when I’m home alone at night, I’m scared, and I shouldn’t have to be.

I am a feminist because I believe in equal rights for ALL, regardless of the color of their skin, the person they love, their religious faith, or their genitalia.

I am a feminist because my Grandma ran for Iowa State Senate in 1982, and lost because she was a woman.

I am a feminist because of everyone who died and sacrificed so that I could have the right to vote.

I am a feminist because I love the color pink, cooking, wearing dresses, and I shave my legs and armpits... and that's okay.

I am a feminist because I am offended when politicians talk about girls "faking rape" and how women can avoid rape pregnancy with magical vagina juices.

I am a feminist because I am not a sex object, something for you to stare at as I walk by, or a seductress just by being a woman.

I am a feminist because I believe gender roles are harmful.

I am a feminist because I am made in God's image.

I am NOT a feminist because I hate men, 

want only women to rule the world, 

hate makeup and pink and anything slightly feminine. 

I am NOT a feminist because I want hairy limbs

and to have sex with women 
(because all feminists like pussy)

and because men are gross and who needs them?

I am NOT a feminist because Eve tricked Adam,

so my goal is to trick all men.

I am NOT a feminist because I don't need anyone in my life

and men are just for using

and I want to kill babies with my unmanacured nails.

I am NOT a feminist because women shouldn't be

stay at home moms or love their kids or spouse.

I am a feminist because I believe in equality, and that women are people.

Why are you a feminist? Are you not, and if so, why not?

Love - Madie

The Backstreet Boys vs. 'N Sync

My life was changed forever when I got my first Backstreet Boys CD. 
It was like the gods had rained down sweet, sweet blessings down onto us mere mortals in the form of a quintet of 20-year olds. Sure, they were a little old for me... but as an 8-year old, I didn't know the difference. All I knew was that I was listening to greatness.

I hated 'N Sync. Oooh did I hate them. They were the devil. They were the Satan to the God that was The Backstreet Boys. They were the enemy. I managed to have friends that preferred 'N Sync to The Backstreet Boys, but it was, admittedly, a rift in our relationship.

Through the years, I have, perhaps, matured more. I have listened to the occasional 'N Sync song, and I have come to the conclusion that I may have been a bit hasty to dismiss them. From the black and white world when I was 8, I have discovered that the world is made up of shades of gray (maybe more than 50 though), and neither side had to be "good" or "bad." Maybe they could both be good!

I'll admit it; after being a lifelong Backstreet Boys fan, I bought four 'N Sync CDs at the store the other day. Their title album, "No Strings Attached," "Celebrity," and one of their Christmas CDs. I admit it, and I'll even admit that they're good. Really good. I've been jamming, ok.

But, as the feminist that I undoubtedly am, I found myself listening to the lyrics and wondering, "Which boy band is more woman-friendly? I wonder which has a more inclusive message?" I mean, I can't have my future little girls listening to music which doesn't treat her like an equal. So, here begins my study: ARE THE BACKSTREET BOYS OR 'N SYNC MORE FEMINIST-Y?*

*Yes, I will be using the word "feministy" in this entire blog.

For the sake of my study, I picked one CD each. Both CDs are from around the same year and are both the second CDs of each band. I haven't looked at the songs or lyrics from either CD yet, so I honestly have no idea which one will win out here.

Vs.

And here we have the contenders: On the left, The Backstreet Boy's "Millennium." On the right, 'N Sync's "No Strings Attached." Both good CDs. "Millennium" was released in 1999, and "NSA" in 2000. 12 tracks in each CD. I'll look at 4 tracks each to keep this blog below 16 pages/scrolls. LET'S DO THIS THING.

Since the BSBs are on the left and I read left to right, we'll start with them. 

"I Want it That Way." 
From first glance, I'd say F-. Don't be demanding things of me. I'm not your slave, I'm your partner. THEN you listen to the song. Brian comes in all sexy-like, "You are my fire // the one desire // believe when I say // I want it that way." YES SIR, BRIAN. You see, he likes me the way I am. I set him on FIRE WITH PASSION. And Nick comes in, "... Can't reach to your heart // when you say // I want it that way." I totally get it. You can't be demanding of each other in a relationship. You have to work together. At the same time, Nick should really listen to your feelings and concerns if you really have a problem and WANT it that way. Maybe you even need it. Maybe I don't like like the way you folded the clothes. Maybe you accidentally put rat poison in the soup. I don't want it that way. I think this song is about listening to each other and not demanding your own needs go before everyone elses'. That's my take. I give it a B+ for being Feministy.

"It's Gotta Be You." 
This seems troublesome. "Baby it's the way you make me // kinda get me go crazy // never wanna stop." YOU'D BETTER STOP IF I SAY NO. And in NO WAY did "I" make you go crazy. You are in charge of your feelings and your penis. I'm glad I inspire passion in you, cause that's hot. And just because I'm a feminist does not mean I don't like you and maybe wanna do some cool things with you. But don't act like you have no control over your hormones, cause I know you do. "I can't control it any more." WHAT DID I JUST SAY?! You know I love you, but you are not doing a good job of listening to me and you are responsible for the control you have over yourself. Ok cool. D+ for being Feministy.

"Don't Wanna Lose You Now." 
Ok now, my boys are pulling through on this one! "Never thought that I'd be left behind // that I was stronger than you, baby." Thank you. I don't think I'm necessarily stronger than you either, and I really appreciate that you think we're equals. "Whatever reason to life that I've had // my place was always beside you." I LOVE IT WHEN YOU TELL ME SEXY THINGS LIKE THIS. "Don't wanna lose to loneliness // girl I know we can win." I KNOW WE CAN TOO CAUSE WE'RE A TEAM. OMG I LOVE YOU. Solid A for being Feministy.

"The One." 
I'm a little split on this one, mostly cause I really love it. "I guess you were lost when I met you // still there were tears in your eyes... There are you, wild and free // reaching out like you needed me... I'll be the one // Who will make all your sorrows undone." I'm gonna be honest, this seems a little cocky to me. Like, "I will help you, poor dear, because I will protect you from all the scary things that you can't deal with." But at the same time, this girl they're singing too clearly needs some help. She's crying, and she needs a shoulder to cry on and someone to tell her it's going to be alright. I've been there. "You need me like I need you // we can share our dreams coming true." OK SOLD. I think this is a feministy song, right? It's maaaybe on the edge, but feminists cry too. Feminists need help and love and stuff OK. B for being Feministy.

Ultimate grade: B

OK NOW ON TO THE 'N SYNC-NESS.

"Bye Bye Bye." 
I mean, how was I not going to do this song? "You're probably gonna start a fight // I know this can't be right... I loved you endlessly // when you weren't there for me // so now it's time to leave and make it alone." Is it just me, or this totally a song about a woman getting out of a shitty, abusive relationship? PERHAPS. And perhaps the gender doesn't matter and feminists can support ANYONE getting out of a shitty, abusive relationship. GO GIRL. OR GUY. DO YO THANG. I SUPPORT YOU. Don't stay with someone who doesn't appreciate you. GOOD MESSAGE. Solid A for being Feministy.

"It's Gonna Be Me." 
I'm not so hot about this one. "That it made you believe in // no man, no cry // maybe that's why // every little thing I do // never seems enough for you... Baby when you finally // get to love somebody // guess what // it's gonna be me." Ok, I get it. I know you're frustrated cause this girl doesn't seem to dig you and she's been hurt and that is frustrating for you. I'm sorry that your life is so terrible because of her pain and all those pesky feelings. I know that you like her and you'd really like to have her like you in return, but that is NOT ALWAYS THE CASE. And what the hell makes you so sure that if she EVER loves again it will be you? You seem kind of judgmental to me. "You've got no choice, babe // but to move on... You're just too blind to see // but in the end you know it's gonna be me." OKAY NOW.  Watch this video and THEN get back to me. 

I get that it's annoying that women have feelings sometimes. You will have to get over it. D+ for being Feministy (you get a plus because it CAN be annoying. But so can you).

"It Makes Me Ill." 
I'm not even sure what to say about this... "I was hanging with the fellas // saw you with your new boyfriend, it made me jealous... I can tell by looking that he's not the one // he's not the type you said you liked... Come on girl, let him go // I want you back." OH I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ONCE WE BROKE UP YOU GOT TO CHOSE MY NEW LOVERS. COOL. I GET TO CHOOSE YOURS TOO, RIGHT? Honestly, I don't care if this is "Feministy" or not, it's just plain annoying. SHE LEFT YOU, AND PROBABLY FOR A REASON. LET IT BE, DUDE. For the love of God, stop creeping on her. I'm not saying girls don't do this too, cause we do. Just look at Pinterest and all the "He's gonna be SORRY" and "Haha his new GF is FAT" pins there are. Also super annoying. But the feminist point here is, you don't get to choose who she dates or hangs out with. She's an independent woman! And men deserve the same respect, so leave your ex the HELL ALONE. OK COOL RANT OVER. C- for being Feministy.

"No Strings Attached." 
Here's what I'm looking for! "I see the things he does to you // all the pain he puts you through // and I see what's really going on // staying out at night while you're by the phone." OMG I'VE EXPERIENCED THAT. Preach it JC. It's not cool that he's being a douchetool. I'm not cool with that, and it sounds like neither are you. Girl, you don't have to stay with someone who's controlling and tool-y. "But if you want it, here's my heart // no strings attached." Thank you! I appreciate that you're treating me like an equal and not putting unnecessary strings on your love. B+ for being Feministy.

Ultimate grade: C+

I'm calling this one for the Backstreet Boys!

Why yes, I found this on Google.

There we have it, folks. The Backstreet Boys are more feministy than 'N Sync. Which I think means they're better in every way. I KNEW THE WORLD WAS ACTUALLY BLACK AND WHITE... Or... Black and Blue! ;D

But in all seriousness, do you agree with the scores I gave the songs? Do you think I was too biased? Did I do some misinterpreting of lyrics? Do you somehow love 'N Sync more than the Backstreet Boys? Tell me your thoughts! I want controversy here!

Love - Madie