tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post1117182795694564000..comments2023-06-25T08:06:27.930-05:00Comments on Her/Story: Faith & Romantic RelationshipsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16400621027250890268noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-14049671658766423892013-03-12T08:37:36.062-05:002013-03-12T08:37:36.062-05:00Hahaha I totally know what you mean. I just read a...Hahaha I totally know what you mean. I just read a blog yesterday from Thought Catalog about how, in a relationship, you need a "bird" and a "hand." Basically that one person is more nuturing and the other needs more space - like opposites attract. The bird and hand can switch roles throughout their relationship, but when there are two "hands," they smother each other and when there are two "birds," they can't connect properly. What I got from it (besides the metaphor) was that variety is good in a relationship. If you're too similar and nurturing and smothering, you won't have anything to talk about and there won't be any spontineity in the relationship. Likewise, if you're too similar and flighty and spontaneous, you won't feel as loved or cared for and will probably crave someone to love you like that.<br /><br />I don't know if I agreed with the whole article, but I do think you're completey correct - we need differences! Even if two people were the same faith, I think they would need to be different enough to keep each other interested in the long run. Along the same lines, a more diverse couple would need enough similarities to keep them connected in the long run.<br /><br />Awww, you have no idea how much I (and we) love hearing that! It makes me so happy that you enjoy it too, because it's a blast for me, haha! :)<br /><br />xo MadieAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16400621027250890268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-66664278737307322322013-03-11T22:22:49.550-05:002013-03-11T22:22:49.550-05:00And I think it might be fair to say that the diver...And I think it might be fair to say that the diversity in a relationship makes for a much more exciting relationship! Otherwise your conversations might be: "Hey - I think sin is bad" reply, "yeah me too."<br /><br />You're welcome! I love reading all the blogs, very inspring and great food for thought on a monotnous work day ;-)<br /><br />-DanielleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-82692106814547363052013-03-11T09:07:03.110-05:002013-03-11T09:07:03.110-05:00Hey Danielle! I'm so glad you liked it, I was ...Hey Danielle! I'm so glad you liked it, I was hoping it would resonate with someone else. It's nice to be understood. :)<br /><br />I totally understand what you mean. I was talking with Jake about this yesterday in the car ride back from Des Moines - I was saying that even my parents, who both grew up in small town Iowa as protestants, have pretty significant ideas about religion. My dad grew up "Christian" but his family never went to church. My mom grew up in a very liberal, open-minded, but very religious household. My dad is definitely questioning even now, but goes to church and supports my mom because he cares about her. <br /><br />I guess what I'm getting at is, I grew up with the concept that, as you said, we each have our own religious (or nonreligious) journey to make and it's not going to be the same for everyone. That doesn't mean that we need to be with someone with the "same" journey, because no path is going to be the same. You articulated it much better than I think I could. :) I'm sure it helps relationships to have both partners understand that idea, whether they're the same faith or not.<br /><br />Thanks so much for commenting!<br /><br />xo MadieAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16400621027250890268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-29109682971069749502013-03-10T13:16:38.792-05:002013-03-10T13:16:38.792-05:00Great blog, Madie! I was really excited to read th...Great blog, Madie! I was really excited to read this because I have yet to find a guy on the same page of faith as me. I would put myself in your boat, "questioning Christian." After four years at SimpCo my mind has been blown way too many times to narrow my faith back down to a straight/smooth path that I could blindly walk. Back to the point though, I haven't found another questioning Christian like myself...what I have found are atheists, agnostics, and even a Hindu. And throughout these various relationships not once has my faith been threatened, but in fact, I feel like I've grown in my own faith the more I learn about what they believe in. We believe in a lot of the same principles. I think my Christianity resembles Bhuddism (okay - brain fart, is it Bhuddism or Hinduism that believes that everyone has his/her own way to get to god?) whatever the case, it means that I don't need someone of my same belief in a relationship because I know we'll take our own paths to God even if we did share the same exact faith/beliefs.<br /><br />-Danielle CaswellAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-47233766486599938312013-03-09T21:36:20.601-06:002013-03-09T21:36:20.601-06:00Oh, I would have to disagree with you here! Love i...Oh, I would have to disagree with you here! Love is an action, a thing, a committment, a feeling; God is love! While that doesn't necessitate that love is therefore God, 1 John does say that one who knows love, knows God. That's good enough for me. :)<br /><br />xo MadieAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16400621027250890268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-56970670562169063072013-03-09T20:12:37.000-06:002013-03-09T20:12:37.000-06:00No ma'am. Love is a description, not a synonym...No ma'am. Love is a description, not a synonym. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-51892791290852320602013-03-09T14:04:55.482-06:002013-03-09T14:04:55.482-06:00God and love wouldn't be synonymous to you? :)...God and love wouldn't be synonymous to you? :)<br /><br />xo MadieAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16400621027250890268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-32052182433284704712013-03-09T13:47:08.924-06:002013-03-09T13:47:08.924-06:00The aspect of faith that is more important than si...The aspect of faith that is more important than simply love, at least to me, is God. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-44223453597613204352013-03-09T13:39:28.954-06:002013-03-09T13:39:28.954-06:00True. I certainly do, though I don't want to s...True. I certainly do, though I don't want to speak for Jacob. I don't think that we have an "extreme" interfaith relationship by any means, but it was something that my girlfriends weren't willing to take on themselves. One of them (no disrespect) refused even the idea of dating an athiest. <br /><br />I think that's a strong possiblity. My question is, then, what aspects of faith do others find more important than, for example, love? My friends seemed to have an issue with marriage within the church, which I don't see as a personal issue but more of a community issue.<br /><br />xo MadieAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16400621027250890268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-11061994368223723382013-03-09T12:51:07.214-06:002013-03-09T12:51:07.214-06:00Honestly, it doesn't sound like you and Jacob ...Honestly, it doesn't sound like you and Jacob are in an interfaith relationship...it sounds like you both worship love, not causing others harm, and your relationship with one another. For many people, reducing faith to those tenets isn't sufficient. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-3356683955390594142013-03-09T07:25:57.318-06:002013-03-09T07:25:57.318-06:00I guess I don't see why you don't think an...I guess I don't see why you don't think an atheist (for example) wouldn't be able to stand up for the same beliefs you would in "radical witness." Perhaps she wouldn't be doing it for the same reasons, but why wouldn't an atheist be able to stand up for peace, or against starving children? What foundations do you think she would be unable to reject, as an athiest?<br /><br />Very true. Clearly we believe it, otherwise it wouldn't be a belief, haha. I guess I see this issue a little differently. For example, Jake offers to go to church with me all the time, even though he doesn't believe what I believe. He does is literally out of the goodness of his heart because he knows this is important to me and he wants to make me happy. He wouldn't go and make fun of the service the whole time because he loves me. I think that in a respectful relationship, people lift each other up, whether or not it's religious. Along with that, Martin Luther once said that doubting one's faith ultimately made the faith stronger each time you came back to it. I would see dialogue with a partner about faith to be an ultimately uplifting experience for both of you!<br /><br />Maybe you wouldn't share the belief that God is the sole purpose for your life; what if doing good for others was her sole purpose in life? Would that be too far away from "God" for you to share common ground on that? I say the "what if" statements (even though I hate them) because I don't know anybody who want to do harm to others or make this world a worse place. There are so many people of other faiths who are working towards the very same goals as we are. They're not trying to make the world worship God, but they are working to create a world Jesus would be proud to see come to fruition.<br /><br />Oh, absolutely, I know you're not dissing on me or interfaith relationships. And I would never claim that any issue is so black and white, haha. I wish it was, but that is not the world we live in. I'm assuming at this point that I'm talking to Chris R, but I'm not very good at this game, haha.<br /><br />xo MadieAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16400621027250890268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-67217280010352762282013-03-09T01:21:26.648-06:002013-03-09T01:21:26.648-06:00I think it would affect our relationship because i...I think it would affect our relationship because if I find God as ultimate, then I don't necessarily find political and social structures as ultimate. What I mean by this is, if my partner was an atheist, she would not be able to stand in radical witness the way that I think Christians are called to (i.e., rejecting many of the foundations we are told we have to play into). <br /><br />Even more than that, though, I would not be able to build her up in her faith (or lack thereof) as much as someone who shared her faith or non-faith, nor would she be able to build me up in my faith as much as another Christian. We believe what we believe because we think it's right. While I think we can have interfaith conversations that are healthy, uplifting, beneficial, etc., honestly, I would still disagree with her on (presumably) a very fundamental belief to both of us. And, because if I believe God is the sole purpose for all I do with my life and she doesn't, I don't think we'd be able to understand one another very well.<br /><br />That being said, OBVIOUSLY interfaith relationships work for some people. In no way am I trying to say that interfaith relationships are wrong or any less legitimate than other relationships, so I hope I haven't come across that way. I'm just trying to say that I don't think it's so simple as to say "ultimately, faith doesn't matter because we all love people." <br /><br />P.S. I bet if you think hard enough you know who I am. ;) Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-67705558747287165192013-03-08T23:15:13.906-06:002013-03-08T23:15:13.906-06:00I do think it is a coincidence. We live in an incr...I do think it is a coincidence. We live in an increasingly integrated world, which means people we usually wouldn't meet or be able to connect with now have that option.<br /><br />I could rant for pages about marriages and the divorce rate, haha. I think our problem is that, as a generation, we think that relationships should be easy like they are in movies and stories, and when they're not, we think it's just not meant to be and bail. When we had arranged marriages, people learned to deal with the situation at hand because there wasn't a choice; divorce literally wasn't an option. Now we believe marriage is for love, and when that warm, fuzzy feeling wears off, we think that we're no longer in love and (in our pleasure-driven society) shouldn't waste our time in a loveless marriage.<br /><br />Clearly I'm using extreme examples, but I think the point remains. :) What are your thoughts?<br /><br />xo MadieAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16400621027250890268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-3292344257760176372013-03-08T23:09:02.718-06:002013-03-08T23:09:02.718-06:00Understandable! My Christian faith is a little dif...Understandable! My Christian faith is a little different - while I believe in and worship God, the act of worshipping is not the end all-be all for me. I'm more into the teachings of Jesus more than the act of worship (as imperfect as I am at following his teachings). I understand that this isn't how everyone feels about their faith. Maybe it makes me especially adaptable to an interfaith relationship? :)<br /><br />How do you feel that a partner not loving God would affect your relationship with him or her? Would it be something you would argue about? Or would it just be a gut feeling for you?<br /><br />P.S. I'd love to know who I'm taking to! :)<br /><br />xo MadieAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16400621027250890268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-75957340469935181802013-03-08T22:59:08.677-06:002013-03-08T22:59:08.677-06:00Divorce rate is at an all time high as is interfai...Divorce rate is at an all time high as is interfaith marriage..coincidence?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5975880234360265597.post-28875142646927339002013-03-08T22:37:35.270-06:002013-03-08T22:37:35.270-06:00The problem with this, Madie, is that it presuppos...The problem with this, Madie, is that it presupposes that the love, justice, etc., aspects of the religion are what makes the religion important to the individual. Yes, I think those things are all important facets of my Christian faith, but ultimately, that's not what my faith is about. My faith is about God/worshiping God and those things just happen to come along with that. I completely agree that people of faith and people without faith can agree on those concepts, but (especially in something so important as a marriage) those concepts mean little to me (and many others) unless they stem from a love of God. So essentially, a big reason why interfaith relationships are harder (and are not for some people) is because it does not simply come down to how one lives in the world, but also, and maybe more so, to how one loves God. For me, justice and love are not ultimates; God is ultimate. And even if our "worldviews" are the same, a major disagreement in what is ultimate is a deal-breaker to me. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com